We make a decision every day whether we exist on a plane of mediocrity or if we will challenge ourselves and our circumstances for a higher purpose. This decision is not usually expressed with words or even considered thoughtfully by most of us when we make it, but rather it is decided in the quiet moments and insignificant actions that choose to or not to participate.
When I think of great people that I have known, I am not reminded of millionaires, successful businessmen, wealth, extravagance or prosperity, rather I think of the men and women in my life who have expressed greatness in thier service to myself and others.
So if I were to challenge myself to be "great", what would I expect of myself?
1. I need to be more gentle & patient.
2 Timothy 2:24
The Lord's slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach and patient, instructing his opponents with gentleness.
If my heart is to be heard above my words, then my words must be softer, more gentle and patience must overcome temperance. A great man is always in control of his temper, emotions and behavior. A great man can express anger without violence, tears without calamity and love unbidden by judgement.
2. I need to use wisdom.
Proverbs 17:27-28
The intelligent person restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a man of understanding. Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent, discerning, when he seals his lips.
There is no fault in taking your time to respond so that your words are considered carefully. To allow circumstances to affect you to the point where your tongue operates independently of your spirit, is emotionally immature. You can always apologize for hurtful words, but they can never be retracted. Silence truly can be golden.
3. I need to be an example.
1 Timothy 4:12
No one should despise your youth; instead you should be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
The degree to which you affect those around you is resultant of the effort you make to be effective. My words and actions should be an example to believers. The truth is that they already are, they are either a poor example, acceptable example or great example.
4. I need to be humble.
1 Peter 5:5-7
And all of you clothe yourselves with humilty toward one another, because God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, because He cares about you.
A great man or woman is known by thier character and behavior, humility is the mark of one who walks in grace and makes no pretense or show of it, but accepts that it is a huge responsibility to be revered and respected.
I thank God that I can be myself in His kingdom and do not have to sacrifice myself for the sake of inclusion. In my own way, I am set apart in the kingdom, because my gifts and callings are my own and they are no greater nor less than those of other men and women. I am proud that God can use my sense of humor for His good. May I continue to grow towards greatness while understanding the mantle of responsibility I carry for those who are around me.
May God take me, in total, not withstanding growth and change, but make me great, because good is not good enough.
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Saturday, November 20, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
A conversation
There can be noone who is immune to the inordinate number of teen suicides recently from young men and women who have determined that the struggle of living is not worth the effort. I have viewed these news stories with a heavy heart and tears have not been solitary. It is challenging for me to watch any news story that revolves around the harm, abduction, abuse or fatality of a young person. Since I became a father, it has been impossible for me to seperate these children from my own in my mind and inevitably while watching these stories I succumb to emotions that are centered around my own familial attachments.
Could this happen to one of my babies? Could one of my children who I love and accept unconditionally become so disillusioned with life that they see suicide are thier only way out? When I ask myself these questions, I answer, "surely, not", and my answer is resolute because I truly believe that they will each lean on the knowledge that they are not just my children but HIS and as a result have a value that is not only certain, but great.
Knowing this was the case should be enough for me, right? Well, no, it was not, because much to my surprise, I realized on the way home yesterday that I had been remiss in addressing a very important aspect of this ongoing national discussion, a personal heart to heart with my children about bullying.
I had a discussion with Fall yesterday and asked it to hold off its bitter winds until I had secured another employment opportunity so that I could buy my children appropriate winter coats and Fall said......"nah". So after an evening of shopping for coats, we were driving home playing one of our many "road games".
I abruptly ended this game with a question, "Are there any openly gay students at your school?"
Hushed silence and the sound of the road greeted me.
So I asked again, "Guys, are there any openly gay students at your school?"
"A few," Canaan responded.
"Yeah, I know a couple," said Cariss.
"Are you friends with any of them?" I asked.
"NO" said Canaan quickly, while Cariss said reticently, "Well, yeah, one of them."
Canaans' response concerned me. "Why did you answer like that Son?"
"My group just doesn't hang out with them." He said.
I bristled and questioned further. Through our discussion I learned that school is still unfortunately very compartmentalized and social groups still reign in the halls of public school with Canaans' group, the "atheletes and cheerleaders" the heirarchy.
After being reassured by Canaan that he does not feel negatively towards gay teens, I asked a situational question. "If a gay teen were walking past you in the hallway and you made eye contact, would you say hello?" His response was no.
I took this opportunity to impart some specific parenting to my children, all three of them and without quoting, because I do not remember word for word, the summary is this.
I encourage all of my children to have friends and participate in groups of friends and activities that they enjoy. But a group that excludes, prohibits, teases, bullys or an any way makes the life of another human being difficult by exhibiting mean or hurtful behavior or language is an abomination.
I told them that it is thier responsibility as believers to be Jesus to all they come in contact with and that we have only one commandment to uphold and that is to love one another.
During this conversation, it was asked what we say about the life they live and my response was, "Why would you say anything?"
I believe and expressed to my children that if any teenager, gay : straight : black : white : asian : hispanic : etc. were to ask them what "we" as Christians believe about them, thier response is to be:
"The only thing that matters is love, we believe that God is love and that he works all things together for our good and that if they accept and believe in Jesus, then we are brothers and sisters in Christ. That it is not our job to investigate, question or judge thier walk with Christ, but to focus on our individual walk alone. "
This is enough and should be enough. When did the "religious" community at large abandon love for the sake of judgement and separation?
We should all remember that we will each individually be responsible for the words of our mouth,
Matthew 12: 33-37
Either make the trees good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you speak good things when you are evil? For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. A good man produces good things from his storeroom of good and an evil man produces evil things from his storeroom of evil. I tell you that on the day of judgement, people will have to account for every careless word they speak. For by your words, you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned.
How quickly do these careless words fall out of our mouths? It happens every day, but remember, your children are listening and watching your example to determine thier own reaction.
Are you proud of the show that you daily produce for them to view?
Blessings.....
Could this happen to one of my babies? Could one of my children who I love and accept unconditionally become so disillusioned with life that they see suicide are thier only way out? When I ask myself these questions, I answer, "surely, not", and my answer is resolute because I truly believe that they will each lean on the knowledge that they are not just my children but HIS and as a result have a value that is not only certain, but great.
Knowing this was the case should be enough for me, right? Well, no, it was not, because much to my surprise, I realized on the way home yesterday that I had been remiss in addressing a very important aspect of this ongoing national discussion, a personal heart to heart with my children about bullying.
I had a discussion with Fall yesterday and asked it to hold off its bitter winds until I had secured another employment opportunity so that I could buy my children appropriate winter coats and Fall said......"nah". So after an evening of shopping for coats, we were driving home playing one of our many "road games".
I abruptly ended this game with a question, "Are there any openly gay students at your school?"
Hushed silence and the sound of the road greeted me.
So I asked again, "Guys, are there any openly gay students at your school?"
"A few," Canaan responded.
"Yeah, I know a couple," said Cariss.
"Are you friends with any of them?" I asked.
"NO" said Canaan quickly, while Cariss said reticently, "Well, yeah, one of them."
Canaans' response concerned me. "Why did you answer like that Son?"
"My group just doesn't hang out with them." He said.
I bristled and questioned further. Through our discussion I learned that school is still unfortunately very compartmentalized and social groups still reign in the halls of public school with Canaans' group, the "atheletes and cheerleaders" the heirarchy.
After being reassured by Canaan that he does not feel negatively towards gay teens, I asked a situational question. "If a gay teen were walking past you in the hallway and you made eye contact, would you say hello?" His response was no.
I took this opportunity to impart some specific parenting to my children, all three of them and without quoting, because I do not remember word for word, the summary is this.
I encourage all of my children to have friends and participate in groups of friends and activities that they enjoy. But a group that excludes, prohibits, teases, bullys or an any way makes the life of another human being difficult by exhibiting mean or hurtful behavior or language is an abomination.
I told them that it is thier responsibility as believers to be Jesus to all they come in contact with and that we have only one commandment to uphold and that is to love one another.
During this conversation, it was asked what we say about the life they live and my response was, "Why would you say anything?"
I believe and expressed to my children that if any teenager, gay : straight : black : white : asian : hispanic : etc. were to ask them what "we" as Christians believe about them, thier response is to be:
"The only thing that matters is love, we believe that God is love and that he works all things together for our good and that if they accept and believe in Jesus, then we are brothers and sisters in Christ. That it is not our job to investigate, question or judge thier walk with Christ, but to focus on our individual walk alone. "
This is enough and should be enough. When did the "religious" community at large abandon love for the sake of judgement and separation?
We should all remember that we will each individually be responsible for the words of our mouth,
Matthew 12: 33-37
Either make the trees good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you speak good things when you are evil? For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. A good man produces good things from his storeroom of good and an evil man produces evil things from his storeroom of evil. I tell you that on the day of judgement, people will have to account for every careless word they speak. For by your words, you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned.
How quickly do these careless words fall out of our mouths? It happens every day, but remember, your children are listening and watching your example to determine thier own reaction.
Are you proud of the show that you daily produce for them to view?
Blessings.....
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Keep the Change
I hate change, hate it, can't stand it. Change has never been easy for me whether it be coming to the realization that there is not and probably never will be an El Chico on Memorial Drive again or having to swallow the inevitable fact that overall shorts were not a good look. I order the same thing when I go to a favorite restaurant (even though I usually end up eating most of Stefani's because she always tries something different) and I get the same thing to drink on my way to work most mornings 1/2 Coke Zero 1/2 Diet Mountain Dew.
I like my routines and as a result am fairly predictable.
Tomorrow, I step away from a career that I have operated in successfully for over 14 years into a completely new business opportunity and one would expect that my anxiety would be at significant levels, but thankfully, peace is reigning.
These past four weeks of unemployment have truly been an eye-opener. I have applied for and interviewed for positions in my chosen career for which I am over qualified, but have not been offered a job. I have had phone calls to long time "friends" in my industry go ignored and un-returned.
Instead of allowing bitterness in, I had to try and see a higher purpose in these events. Was God moving me toward a new calling? What would this be? Would I be prepared for it? From the beginning of my job search, I applied for new and different careers, ones that I had never attempted. Did doing this before all the rejection in my current industry mean that I was more interested in doing something new?
I do not know what is ahead for me but I do know that it is not important, what is behind.
Phillipians 4: 12-14
Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but i make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus.
What spoke to me in this passage was the phrasing......"forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Chris Jesus".
If you move forward truly forgetting what is behind, then there is no room for bitterness or doubt and if you are reaching forward then it is impossible to use those same two hands to hold on to what is in the past. And guess what, "my goal, the prize" is PROMISED.
Thats a guarantee to me.
I pray that I truly let all the old things fall away and they become forgotten because my arms will be fully extending...reaching forward towards my goal.
Boo-yeah.
I like my routines and as a result am fairly predictable.
Tomorrow, I step away from a career that I have operated in successfully for over 14 years into a completely new business opportunity and one would expect that my anxiety would be at significant levels, but thankfully, peace is reigning.
These past four weeks of unemployment have truly been an eye-opener. I have applied for and interviewed for positions in my chosen career for which I am over qualified, but have not been offered a job. I have had phone calls to long time "friends" in my industry go ignored and un-returned.
Instead of allowing bitterness in, I had to try and see a higher purpose in these events. Was God moving me toward a new calling? What would this be? Would I be prepared for it? From the beginning of my job search, I applied for new and different careers, ones that I had never attempted. Did doing this before all the rejection in my current industry mean that I was more interested in doing something new?
I do not know what is ahead for me but I do know that it is not important, what is behind.
Phillipians 4: 12-14
Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but i make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus.
What spoke to me in this passage was the phrasing......"forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Chris Jesus".
If you move forward truly forgetting what is behind, then there is no room for bitterness or doubt and if you are reaching forward then it is impossible to use those same two hands to hold on to what is in the past. And guess what, "my goal, the prize" is PROMISED.
Thats a guarantee to me.
I pray that I truly let all the old things fall away and they become forgotten because my arms will be fully extending...reaching forward towards my goal.
Boo-yeah.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Who I Am
After reading my first post, I realized that I had neglected to introduce myself to anyone unfortunate enough to run across this blog.
So taking exception from my first entry, please allow me to tell you a lil' bit 'bout me....
I am first and foremost a Christian, one who seeks Jesus daily and tries my best to live as an example of Him in this world....having said that.....I am also a real person. If you live under judgement and a lack of grace and think that salvation is something that can be wrenched away from you if you say a cuss word or have a drink, then I am not your type of Christian...
My salvation is secure in MY relationship with HIM, there is nothing in my Bible that suggests that you have anything at all to do with it, or vice versa.
I am a believer, but can also be wildly inappropriate for the sake of a laugh and ...well...I am totally fine with that.
I cannot stand judgemental people and take great pleasure in shutting them down.
I am a husband to my true soulmate, she completes me in every way and in most sentences (mainly because she is afraid of what willl come next). She has shown me what unconditional love and acceptance is and for that I am and will be eternally grateful.
I am a father to three of the most incredible kids ever born. Canaan is my clone, but a much improved version of me. He is funny, sweet, caring, tough, devout, loyal and more than I could ask or think.
Cariss is my challenge, she is rigidly exacting in her opinion of right and wrong, she is fiercely protective and will not back down from a fight (even with me). She overcame great adversity when entering this world and the strong will that we prayed into her has not lessened.
Callie is my cuddler, a Daddy's girl through and through. She wakes up smiling and singing, always has. Joy for her is a lifestyle and a contagion that infects anyone around her. She is a master at "dancing through life".
I am a brother to three sisters. Heather who served me ....literally, like a waitress and was my constant companion in childhood, is someone who I not only love but am SO incredibly proud of. Lynette, I wish that we lived closer and I saw you more, but nothing can take away the incredible and funny memories that we share, your college years, were some of my best times...
My extended family includes many aunts, uncles and cousins. They are all just as fun and crazy as me. I can honestly say that some of my best friends and most supportive allies (partners in crime) are my cousins. They are the funniest group ever and we have had some crazy good times.
I am lucky to have been surrounded by some amazing friends who have lifted and supported me through so many years that it would be impossible to list them all, but to not mention a couple would be shameful.
Gene, you are as much my brother as if we were blood, my life would NOT be what it is now without you in it.
Rachael, what a bonus you were, to have my best friend fall in love with and marry...well my best friend. Too good to be true. Salt n pepa's here...
If I was shaped by anything, you can lay much of the blame on my time spent at the AG Tabernacle. My years here were crazy, wonderful, terrible, challenging, changing, expressive, oppressive, defining, exciting and without my knowledge served to shape and mold me beyond my own indifference.
My Tabernacle family is huge and my memories are endless and I am so blessed to have reconnected with so many of them on Facebook. Pastor Tim & Debbie, we have had this conversation already, but it is still worthy of note that I credit (blame) you for this circling through adolescent stupidity and coming right back to the One who has made everything in my life better and more worthwhile and for that and many other things I love you both very much.
In the words of Forrest Gump...."that's all I have to say about that....."
Peace.
So taking exception from my first entry, please allow me to tell you a lil' bit 'bout me....
I am first and foremost a Christian, one who seeks Jesus daily and tries my best to live as an example of Him in this world....having said that.....I am also a real person. If you live under judgement and a lack of grace and think that salvation is something that can be wrenched away from you if you say a cuss word or have a drink, then I am not your type of Christian...
My salvation is secure in MY relationship with HIM, there is nothing in my Bible that suggests that you have anything at all to do with it, or vice versa.
I am a believer, but can also be wildly inappropriate for the sake of a laugh and ...well...I am totally fine with that.
I cannot stand judgemental people and take great pleasure in shutting them down.
I am a husband to my true soulmate, she completes me in every way and in most sentences (mainly because she is afraid of what willl come next). She has shown me what unconditional love and acceptance is and for that I am and will be eternally grateful.
I am a father to three of the most incredible kids ever born. Canaan is my clone, but a much improved version of me. He is funny, sweet, caring, tough, devout, loyal and more than I could ask or think.
Cariss is my challenge, she is rigidly exacting in her opinion of right and wrong, she is fiercely protective and will not back down from a fight (even with me). She overcame great adversity when entering this world and the strong will that we prayed into her has not lessened.
Callie is my cuddler, a Daddy's girl through and through. She wakes up smiling and singing, always has. Joy for her is a lifestyle and a contagion that infects anyone around her. She is a master at "dancing through life".
I am a brother to three sisters. Heather who served me ....literally, like a waitress and was my constant companion in childhood, is someone who I not only love but am SO incredibly proud of. Lynette, I wish that we lived closer and I saw you more, but nothing can take away the incredible and funny memories that we share, your college years, were some of my best times...
My extended family includes many aunts, uncles and cousins. They are all just as fun and crazy as me. I can honestly say that some of my best friends and most supportive allies (partners in crime) are my cousins. They are the funniest group ever and we have had some crazy good times.
I am lucky to have been surrounded by some amazing friends who have lifted and supported me through so many years that it would be impossible to list them all, but to not mention a couple would be shameful.
Gene, you are as much my brother as if we were blood, my life would NOT be what it is now without you in it.
Rachael, what a bonus you were, to have my best friend fall in love with and marry...well my best friend. Too good to be true. Salt n pepa's here...
If I was shaped by anything, you can lay much of the blame on my time spent at the AG Tabernacle. My years here were crazy, wonderful, terrible, challenging, changing, expressive, oppressive, defining, exciting and without my knowledge served to shape and mold me beyond my own indifference.
My Tabernacle family is huge and my memories are endless and I am so blessed to have reconnected with so many of them on Facebook. Pastor Tim & Debbie, we have had this conversation already, but it is still worthy of note that I credit (blame) you for this circling through adolescent stupidity and coming right back to the One who has made everything in my life better and more worthwhile and for that and many other things I love you both very much.
In the words of Forrest Gump...."that's all I have to say about that....."
Peace.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thoughts in Transition
I have known for some time that you cannot allow circumstances to dictate your reaction to them and even though this was a solid resolve for me, I struggled with implementing this personal policy recently. The disrespect that I suffered at the hands of a couple of individuals was so blatant and severe that my core was shaken, albeit momentarily. I spent days wondering how someone could be so blindly insensitive and so completely dismissive of people and their value. The only solution to this dilemma was when I decided to end the pity party, take down the balloons and streamers and move forward.
My value is not tied up in anyone else but me and the people that I love and treasure. I see and feel my value daily in the eyes and actions of my wife and children. I continue to feel valued when surrounded by my true friends and other family members. Value is not an expression of someones' view of you, but in the resolute understanding that YOU own it.
My life is in a transitional state due to the loss of a job. After 23 years of gainful full-time employment, I am unemployed for the first time ever. It is definitely an adjustment, but not necessarily a bad one. Having had more time to just be still, I have rediscovered the simple joys of playing board games with my children, having lunch with them at school, eating lunch with my wife. I have spent more time in the Word and in prayer. My life has become balanced again. I work full-time looking for a job, but I take the time to appreciate this unique opportunity.
Today while flipping through my Bible (my favorite one ever, it is the Holman Illustrated Study Bible, a gift from my baby girl Callie) I came across this passage:
Philippians 4: 6-9
Don't worry about anything, but in everything, though prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable - if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise - dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
This passage gives no option to worry about anything, that is my new goal to live a life free from worry. It is also clear that our thoughts should only dwell on things that are:
1. true
2. honorable
3. just
4. pure
5. lovely
6. commendable
7. is morally excellent
8. is praise
I don't even know that it is possible for me to accomplish this, but I will certainly try.
God Bless and remember, it is not your job to judge any one else's walk with God or lack thereof, we are only to love and accept those as they are. There ain't nothin' worse than a hypocritical pharisee......OK?
My value is not tied up in anyone else but me and the people that I love and treasure. I see and feel my value daily in the eyes and actions of my wife and children. I continue to feel valued when surrounded by my true friends and other family members. Value is not an expression of someones' view of you, but in the resolute understanding that YOU own it.
My life is in a transitional state due to the loss of a job. After 23 years of gainful full-time employment, I am unemployed for the first time ever. It is definitely an adjustment, but not necessarily a bad one. Having had more time to just be still, I have rediscovered the simple joys of playing board games with my children, having lunch with them at school, eating lunch with my wife. I have spent more time in the Word and in prayer. My life has become balanced again. I work full-time looking for a job, but I take the time to appreciate this unique opportunity.
Today while flipping through my Bible (my favorite one ever, it is the Holman Illustrated Study Bible, a gift from my baby girl Callie) I came across this passage:
Philippians 4: 6-9
Don't worry about anything, but in everything, though prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable - if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise - dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
This passage gives no option to worry about anything, that is my new goal to live a life free from worry. It is also clear that our thoughts should only dwell on things that are:
1. true
2. honorable
3. just
4. pure
5. lovely
6. commendable
7. is morally excellent
8. is praise
I don't even know that it is possible for me to accomplish this, but I will certainly try.
God Bless and remember, it is not your job to judge any one else's walk with God or lack thereof, we are only to love and accept those as they are. There ain't nothin' worse than a hypocritical pharisee......OK?
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